oh holy ......

i saw some countdown thing somewhere and we're only at 124 days left! that seems sooo low for all the things i still need to do.

oh but it was a very productive weekend. we've narrowed down our rings, and i really love what we've chosen! we're still shopping around for the best deal so it's not quite purchased yet, but we've decided on one, so yay!

bought all 5 flower girl dresses, plus an extra one for his little cousin so she doesn't feel left out. i have to change the sash and use the shantung silk i purchased in the philippines to make a new one so that it will coordinate with the bridesmaids. hehe, and they're gonna wear red shoes too! soo cute! i'll show you pics in a bit.

ohhhh, i went to my first fitting after the alterations! it fits my midsection like a glove now. the chest however, was still giant, even after i was wearing the size A nubra. i thought the size b was too pointy and large for me, but i'll be wearing those. she'll also put in another hook onto the back just to close up the chest area more. AND, she still has to sew in extra cups into the dress. geez! my aunt and mom who were with me said, well, if you got married after you have kids, you'll have boobs like these. greattttttt, thanks guys.

the veil again

here's the response for the quote i requested:

Hello-

Thank you for your interest in a Custom Bridal Veil. For that particular style (1SH354) - it can only be worn ontop of the head if it has a heavier, weighted edge -- such as the rhinestone band, or a lace. With a light edging, since there are no gathers at the comb - it tends to form little "peaks" right on each side of the comb when worn on top of the head.
So - to make this work - you can either wear the veil a bit lower - like this one:
mantilla style worn lower on head

OR - have a few gathers at the top on a metal comb. The little bit of gathering would allow you to wear it high on the head - similiar to this veil:
gathered style worn on top of head, front
gathered style worn on top of head, back

I hope this makes sense -- let me know which you'd prefer and we'll get you a quote!

what do you think i should do? my object for the high placement is really to get the veil to frame my face. but the one that's placed a little lower does that as well. i just didn't want any poufy thing that gathered veils tend to do. although the one she shows here isn't really too poufy, so it might work just as well... errr, what should i do?

the veil

ode to anna's blogging style:

veil
–noun 1. a piece of opaque or transparent material worn over the face for concealment, for protection from the elements, or to enhance the appearance.
2. a piece of material worn so as to fall over the head and shoulders on each side of the face, forming a part of the headdress of a nun.

oh my god, i finally found a freakin picture of a girl with her hair up and her veil on top of her head! and it's gorgeous! (click on it to make bigger)


i've been totally stressing out over this veil issue, cuz i want a flower in my hair along with a veil. but i want the veil to be actually a veil, not some piece of tulle that's stuck to the back of your neck like some sort of tail. for me, i think it defeats the purpose of a veil if it's not actually covering your head. but when i would try on a veil that i liked, it only seemed to look good with my hair down or half down. i really like the look of the edge of the veil caressing my face. i just stumbled upon it on one of my first times trying on a veil and i love the soft, romantic, traditional look. but it was sooo hard to find a picture of anyone with this kind of hair up/veil on top of head style and i was starting to think that it just wouldn't look good. now, thanx to honeylicious, i have a tangible picture of what it'll look like! oh look at how gorgeous it is!!!!


mine will actually lay more flat on top of my head. more mantilla-cut with no gathers at the comb. many have had rave reviews about www.occanseydesigns.com and i sent them an email today requesting a quote for a fingertip veil with light beading around the edge to go with my gown. they seem to have great prices, so let's cross our fingers and pray for a good one for mine!

note: i'm a teeny tiny big hooked on www.weddingbee.com. it's like the knot discussion boards where people blog about weddings and their ideas and post questions that they're having. except, everyone's really nice on it and aren't bitchy or judgmental. i was on the knot discussion boards the other day and although i've been at this a while, i'm not too familiar with the wedding boards. it took me forever to decipher the acronyms (PIB is not peanut in butter. it's Posted in Bio). but as i kept surfing and reading the questions and answers, it made me really afraid to comment on them! check it out, one poor girl asked:
Honestly, seriously...I used to bash on people about tulle and wedding questions but i'm at the point with trying to figure out my own decorations that I'm resorting these boards. I can't tape or afix anything to the walls of the reception site and think i'm gonna do table decorations and flower stands and possibly two arches for height in the room....but i have no clue how to decorate an arch...do i use the forbidden tulle?? any ideas...i'm so serious...i'm about to elope! TIA

btw, i dunno what TIA means.

some responses she received:
~ *sniff*sniff*

That cheese looks good, but it seems to be attached to some kind of wooden base with a metal frame and spring structure on top of it. Perhaps I should stay away.

~ mmmmm.....cheese.

Arches are gross. You should use paper bells. Lots and lots of paper bells. You could hire people to hold them. I heard Ethopia is a good place to find cheap labor.

~ balloons, lots and lots of balloons.

sad, no? man, i felt so bad for that girl.

the to-do list

now, i have a much more extensive overall wedding-planner type of list. but i was going a little nuts yesterday trying to keep track of all the little things that i need to do more immediately, so i made myself a list:

the to-do pile:
~ order nubra
~ blog, wedding blog yesssss, one less thing.
~ create invitations (as of yesterday, i have 81 out of 100 completed with the 1st step! i'm on my way...), take pix of wedding stuff. pick out perfume for invitations. yessss, another thing done.
~ prototype of favors.
~ research hair, makeup, veil, flower for hair, my wedding shoes, wedding jewelry.
~ finish bridesmaid gifts, determine flower girl gifts
~ order flower girl dresses
~ try on alfred angelo bridesmaid dress, just in case that lady doesn't work out.
~ buy cheung sam/qui pao for rehearsal dinner, tea set for tea ceremony.
~ find out about the dance lessons. check city of la mirada for classes.
~ formalize ideas and needs/wants with videographer, photographer, florist, dj
~ pick out e-pics for the poster
~ pick out epics to burn on cd for cousin to get album made in the philippines.
~ ask u. bobby jay to help us with photo montage.

i did get a few things done today. too bad they weren't on my list though!

the done pile:
~ scheduled meeting with the church coordinator to do the FOCUS questionnaire. you know catholic weddings, they have a grip of requirements. but, i'm excited about this one. you get to know the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. and after all this wedding stuff, we've definitely grown, i must say. so i can't wait to see what else it reveals. i just wish we were able to schedule this much sooner. our mtg's not til the 2nd week of july.

~ decided not to have the main invitation panel dhl/fed ex/ups'd to us from the philippines. they got it done much earlier than promised which i was so glad about. but now, it'll have to sit there in pinas and wait for mamsie (other grandma) to take it back here in mid-july. it was gonna cost, at the very least, the same price it cost to get them printed, doubling the overall cost of that panel! when the whole point of getting it printed there was to save money, that shipping wasn't really gonna work.

dang it, is that all i got done today? oh i worked on our wedding website the other day... that took practically alll day.

oh oh oh! i do wanna say that i love my dress!!! i tried it on immediately after i got it and of course, as expected, the chest was like 5 inches away from my body. i ordered it according to the size chart, and according to the size chart, i was a freakin size 8. so of course, it's gonna be that giant. but it was the smallest size that fit my hip measurements, so it kinda makes sense. but i took it to the seamstress that did mina's wedding on the sat before i went to the philippines. her place is called amy's tailoring but there's no amy there. her name is tina. she took over the spot from someone who wasn't the real amy either. hehe. anyway, she pinned it all on the sides and it was a nice snug fit. i was actually pretty nervous about that cuz caroline was saying that her seamstress took the sides in but the front chest was still the same (too big) and she had to alter it herself. but tina took it in and it felt pretty snug. with the nubra and another bra sewn in, i think it'll be just fine. i gave her a break and said she can get it to me later, so she said the 20th of june will be fine for her. and that's next wed! whoohooo! so i'll have my 1st (or is this my 2nd?) fitting with her at that time. i can't wait!

next time i blog, i'll tell you all the nifty stuff we got for sooo cheap at the philippines. :) shopping was awesome there! except for all the mosquito bites i got from divisoria. poo.

it's here! it's here! it's here!!!!

oh my god, my brother just called and he said he just signed for a package from ups. and he told me it was from Allure Bridal Couture!!! i got my dress! i got my dress! i got my dress!!!! oh my goodness, it was only 2-3 weeks ago that i placed the order! i can't believe it's here so fast! oh geez, there better not be anything wrong with it, like reused or something. but then, that store has a very strict return policy so that's highly unlikely. oh my gosh, i hope it's perfect! and i hope it fits!!!

dress update and engagement pictures

i had been trying to find that dress for less but for the longest time, i didn't even know the maker. i was seriously about to just order it from The Dresser, but one day, i was browsing through another bridal magazine and found a picture of my dress! and clear as day, it stated the designer/manufacturer. so i finally had something to search with! as soon as i got home, i got straight on the internet and found the $1500 dress for 1170! a week later, i called Pearl's Place, a store in new orleans and oh my god, they have it for 817. i was so in shock that when the guy told me the price quote, i responded with "dollars?!" and then i thought, aughh, they probably make their money in shipping, so i asked how much for shipping, and he just goes "12". and in my head, i thought, "thousand? no, that's absurd. hundred?... no. that doesn't make sense." so i asked again, "dollars?!" and the guy says yes in a very stern manner. so i was like, "to california?!" and he goes, "Yes". he was totally getting annoyed by me, but i was getting so excited. and i trust that place because caroline got hers from there too. so i know they deliver. and deliver fast even. she got her dress in 2-3 months after her order. so i placed the order 2 weeks ago. and they said i'd get it in 3 months, hopefully beginning of august, whooohooo!

we got our engagement pictures!!! oh my goodness, i was so bummed out last friday cuz ups didn't come to our house. but then it turned out that they delivered to the wrong house! our neighbor from down the street brought over 2 packages on saturday that i was expecting on friday. henry and i were working a wedding on sat, so when my mom called me in the early evening to tell me about the packages, i was sooo excited and couldn't wait to go home! oh they look soooo good! i'm very happy about them. i was so happy that i requested for sillouettes, cuz i really liked those pictures too. my parents had a sillouette picture when they got married, so this is a nice tribute to them too. we're (he's) quickly putting together our real website, so i'll have those pics posted on there soon. hopefully by the end of this week! just in time for the save the dates... and yes, they're still going out, hopefully the end of the week. i really feel like they're so late because some people are making plans for end of the year already. and i wouldn't want them to plan on our wedding date. so that's why i put this together: www.theknot.com/ourwedding/DorothyCruz&HenryPang. just a bit of info so you can save the date!

falling into place

ah things are finally starting to fall into place. i was going positively nuts trying to find a dress. well, it was partially my fault too because i got my mind super stuck on this one kind of dress that i tried on. i really really liked how it fit me, but gosh it was by a super high end designer (www.inesdisanto.com) and it would've cost $4600!!!! are they insane?! oh and the lady helping us said that if they'd give us 30% discount if i bought the sample at the store, that was, mind you, 3 sizes larger than what i'd need. so that would have brought the cost down to an oh so low.... $3200... are they insane?! anyway, so i went on a quest to try to find something similar or find a dressmaker to copy it. and yes, i found both actually. there was something very similar at david's bridal for 10% of the cost of the original dress. no, not 10% off of the cost, i mean it cost $450, 10% of the original cost. haha, it'd would've been great. except that i'd need to "fix" that dress too and even after the fixes, i wasn't sure at all that it would look good. so i was really hesitant to go that route. even after my mom offered to pay for the whole thing. she's so sweet, she said she's always wanted to buy me my dress. and since i didn't have a debut or anything, she wanted to pay for this one. it was so touching!

and then i found a lady who said she'd be able to copy that dress. she's really skilled, i saw her work and i truly believe that she could do it. but she'd still be charging me $1500. granted, that includes every alteration and the dress would be totally custom-made to my size. but even still, what if it doesn't turn out? i was still apprehensive. so i just had to change my mind set and start from scratch. i went this past sunday with my aunts, grandma, and mama to the dresser in fullerton. they brought out the dresses i had tried on and liked the last time i was there. my aunts were gagging at the pickups that i liked so much. they asked the ladies who worked there, "really? really? are you sure this is the dress she liked?" and when i arrived, they go, "chay, really? it's ugly." now i know where my opinionated nature comes from. it was so different from dress shopping with other friends who just say, "oh yea, that's nice, that could totally work." but hey, that's what family is for right? to tell you when it really looks like crap. haha! so i started gathering some dresses, still rather on the big side (like big skirts) i still wanted something that was form-fitting, but i just kept myself open to other kinds. the first dress i actually tried on was sooo it. everyone just gasped cuz it was so beautiful. and i really liked it too. i noticed that i like the dress when i didn't want to take it off. and when i don't like a dress, i don't stay in it for very long at all. there was one dress that was barely on my body and the lady hadn't even zipped it up yet, when i told her to just take it off already. and after 7-8 dresses, i went back and tried on the first dress again and the lady helper put a veil on me with the same sparkly designs as the dress... it was just so lovely. really different from the first ines di santo dress that i thought i wanted. that dress was very modern and trendy actually. and another friend said, yea, well, it might be like the poufy sleeves of the 80s. cool then, but might not be so cool in 20-30 years. this dress that i'm falling in love with, it's definitely a much more classic style. and the beading is just beautiful on it. oh and the cost.. same as what it'd be to get that other dress made. so for the same price, i think this dress is definitely a much better buy. yayyy, so i'm totally excited! i got my dress, i got my dress, i got my dress!!!! and the best part, i'm totally happy with that decision! whooohooo!

and in other wedding news... we finally decided on the florist. it's our favorite florist lady after all the looooong meetings with other florists that we went to. we decided to scope out other ones just to see how their prices would be, hoping that they'd be lower. but after visiting ada and seeing her designs again, the others just don't compare. again, for the same amount of money, we'll be getting sooo much more from ada. plus, she's the one florist that i can relax with and know that the decor will turn out great. that was ada's biggest perk for henry; she's the only florist that i won't be micro-managing or worrying about how the flowers will turn out. i just needed to make sure of a couple of details like she wouldn't take other jobs on the same day and she'd be able to focus on my wedding. but i discussed that openly with her and she was already pretty clear that she can't take any jobs simply because of the sheer distance of my location from her shop.

and the videographer is done too. that was another bitch and a half to figure out as well. not very high on our priority list at all, but we're going with an old friend and dazer allan jay of triversity video. (don't mind the website, it's quite cheese) i forgot how talkative he is! but he's super genuine, really sweet guy. and i actually like his style a lot. it's very documentary-like, capturing basically every detail, the whole entire day. there's no short synopsis, you get the entire day's footage. so to watch it would probably mean living through the entire mass and reception all over again. the entire 5-7 hours of the occasion. so we asked about him producing a highlights version in addition to the long one, something 30-40 mins long that we could actually show friends and family without them falling asleep and he was totally fine with it. that should be more manageable for people to watch. but i do really appreciate the "extended cut" for posterity's sake.

so what's next.... the save the dates... i was really irritated at the timing of all this too because, 6 months to our wedding is coming up soooo quickly at the end of this month! so it's actually too late to get our engagement pictures taken and then produced in order to incorporate them into the save the dates. but it's okay, i had to let that go too. i'd rather take the time to do them right and have fun with it, than be rushed. my save the dates can go without a picture... or a different picture. *shrug*

i think the key to this whole wedding planning thing is flexibility. visions and concepts and ideas have changed so much in the last 2-3 weeks. i don't deal well with change, so it was hard to swallow at first. but once i accepted it, i was actually quite happy with what's turning out. so i think as long as i keep flexible, we'll be less likely to be disappointed and be truly happy with what we choose. :)

3.5 hours later...

duuuuude, we spent freakin almost 4 hours hashing things out with our first florist interview. yes, we already pretty much had one picked out, but we decided to try out other options to see if they'll compare, price-wise and quality and style. so we found one that one of my clients are using for their wedding and this vendor is doing some drapery for them as well as some lighting. so we went to check her out and it was quite a productive session. it was our first one and that's always the hardest because that's where you really have to choose what kinds of flowers and style... many of which i hadn't really thought too specifically about. i'm not super tied to any one flower or anything. i just wanted the flowers to reflect our colors. it was so hard to choose a flower and then to try to envision what it'll look like, then choose bridesmaid bouquets after, then the sponsors' corsages and on and on and on. at first i was being more particular, but by the time 9pm rolled around, i was just saying yes to everything. sooo tiring. so now we're debating if we even wanna go through the whole thing again. i think we ought to give our original florist a chance though, cuz we do like her style lot. we're just really drained from that 3.5 hour meeting.

honeymoon - check!

whoohoo! we got our honeymoon! my god, it'll be a lovely 3 week vacation! we're starting out in florence for 3 nights (taking visits to cinque terre and pisa during those days) and then 4 nights in rome. and THEN we set sail on a mediterranean cruise with stops to athens, mykonos (greek island), and egypt! yes, we're going to egypt! we get to see the pyramids and the nile river! can you believe it? dude, and the best part is, we're doing all of the hotels with points! AND my parents are helping with the cruise! it's going to be sooo awesome!

... hope work will let me take off. hehe! it's go live time for this huge upgrade project that we're doing around october. they better be on time, or they won't have me around. but 3 weeks, wow! i feel so big baller... but thank goodness for points!

yay!!!

i have 2 more bridesmaids, whoohooo! i had such a great time with lana, herman, maria and of course, the fiance last night! we went to palms thai restaurant in hollywood. poor maria totally got lost cuz she was testing out her new navigation system, which apparently sucks big bootie. but i'm glad we got her out of her cranky pants mood and had a great time with duck red curry, and glass noodle salad and tom yum gum (something like that) - you know, that really spicy sour soup. and at the end of dinner, thai elvis sang happy birthday to maria, yayyyy! happy birthday dear friend! oh and then, i gave them their presents. they were so cute opening them, sychronized with each other. but maria was so caught up in the cute wrapping and i swear, she looked like she didn't even want to untie the ribbon cuz she was admiring it so much. lana was sooo excited that she just tore through it, and she quickly read the gifts and started nodding really really excitedly! hehe! she kept looking at maria, wondering why she wasn't even reacting. and maria was just on the first coaster. she saw her name and she showed us, "oh look, it has my name!" and lana says, "yea, look there's more." so maria saw the "will you..." and then read the rest of the gift. hehe! awww, and they were both so touched when they read the entire phrase. and i was really really happy that they were really really happy to be my bridesmaids! i really just wanted them to feel special cuz i am sooo thankful for their friendships through the years. and they're so funny. they started making up phrases to put around the house for lana's boyfriend, michael. "will you... clean the table?" "will you... sweep the floor?" "will you... put the toilet seat down?" hehe! good times, good times!

1 down, 5 to go

whoohoo! last week, henry and i went out with jonathan and caroline. hadn't seen them in forever! i noticed throughout the night, caroline and i were just chit-chattering away. i missed that with girlfriends. we continued to hang out at their house and i asked my first bridesmaid to be my bridesmaid! i really wanted to make my girls feel special, so i made them a little something. i wanna share it but i still have 5 of them left to ask, so i'll save it for a little later. hopefully, by next week, i'll have 4 bridesmaids and 2 matrons of honor to present! oh and henry's so funny at how he asked his groomsmen too. he didn't really know how to ask jonathan, but it seemed like such a scripted moment when caroline asked, so how will you ask you groomsmen henry? and henry just goes, like this, as he flings the little screaming monkey to jonathan. hehe! it was the funniest moment! and jongo's like, oh that's funny, not even realizing that henry's actually asking him until henry said the words. then he just laughed even more. hehe! good friends, good stuff!

so tonight, i'll knock down 2 more bridesmaids. and tomorrow, one of the matrons of honor - who doesn't wanna be called matron because it sounds too matronly. but she doesn't wanna be maid of honor, because she doesn't want people to think that she divorced her husband already! hehe! she's so funny. so i'm currently throwing around the title lady of honor. any suggestions?

5 weeks later

it's been a little over 5 weeks since we got engaged, 4 1/2 weeks since we started planning and by the end of last week, we had our [location] site (brackets are for jongo), decided on our dj, photographer and florist i think. then i didn't see my fiance for 3 whole days! i think we had a really hard time with it cuz when i visited him yesterday, it was like we hadn't seen each other for a year! we're counting the 7.5 months til we can just sleep in the same bed and neither one of us will have to get up at 2-3 in the morning to go home.

so yesterday, we started our gift registries. i feel like we really sucked at shopping. i know he feels pretty accomplished because the items we put on the registry are things we really wanted. but we only played with the online registry for only a couple of hours. and when i viewed it as a guest, i felt like it was such a skimpy list! shoot, and that was only one store! as a guest, i like to have lots of choices on gift registries, so i really like jay and cici's. they put down everything from napkin rings to lamps. so i don't really want to say where we registered yet because we're soo far from getting started. and macy's wont let you register online. you have to go in store... poo. and for another store, well, gosh, we were so tired from registering from the first store, that i think we only put down drinking glasses and just stopped.

then we talked about honeymoon stuff. oh so fun! we're thinking of taking 3 weeks off now. the way the cruise is working out, we'd only have 3 land days in italy. i hear it takes 3 days just to go around rome! and since we're there already, might as well see the other areas. i want to see pisa, and esp. cinque terre that jay, glenn and chris have told so many stories about. i'd love to see florence while we're at it. i wouldn't mind seeing venice. but that's much more out of the way.

a coworker was talking about how 3 weeks gets to be too much so i was thinking, would we want to come home already after the cruise? then henry reminded me of how we felt after 2 weeks in hawaii. we still didn't want to come home yet. so i think we'd be just fine with 3 weeks. i'm excited! i think i ought to learn how to speak italian though. i'm sure glad i took spanish in high school. hopefully that will help me learn italian.

we got our site!!

yayyy, we got our reception location! aughh, what a struggle that was to make a decision and try to choose what's best for us and still consider the budget. and after all that weighing out, calculating spreadsheets, we still ended up with waaaay over our budget. geez louise!

but we're sooo super happy with turnip rose. they're rated the #1 best caterer in orange county, so i really didn't mind having just chicken. but since we were no longer having chinese banquet, henry was rather concerned about having good food that his family will enjoy. so we've upgraded to a duet of yumminess. sadly, no more chocolate fountain (even after i found a really great deal and price at amor chocolate fountains. their packages are a really good deal. the elegant package (3rd highest) is $750 for 4 hours with 4+ dipping items! but we couldn't bring in our own vendor as the location is actually run by a catering company. they wanted to charge us $3000 for a choco fountain. are they nuts? so no choco fountain for us. BUT we got a pretty cool surprise in place of it i think. they have these cute little chocolate covered strawberries and they're decorated like little tuxedos and dresses! how cute is that?! AND to top it off, they're injected with liqueur! yummm, looking forward to that!

soooo blessed!

yayyyy for free stuff! henry's aunt and uncle own a shoe distributing company. the uncle actually designs the shoes and gets them made in china and then distributes it here in the u.s. so when i went over his house on friday, his mom told me that they're sponsoring the shoes for the wedding party. whoohooo! free shooes! just gotta look at the catalog and pick out a style.

ohhh, annnd, his mom is a dress pattern maker and knows lots of seamstreses, so she said that i could probably have the dresses made through them. yayyyyy!

ok, and it was a very wedding-planning-filled weekend. i'm exhausted. on sat, we went to see the sheraton delfina. *sigh* it was my favorite location for a long time. it was a great set up of the ballroom with the little room where the kids can play. and it was on the penthouse of the hotel with a great view. the guy we met with was really nice and easy to work with actually and with the date being on a friday on a very slow weekend for weddings, he's cutting us a good deal. but the good deal is still higher than what we'd like it to be, so it's not looking so good for the delfina.

and yesterday, we went to a bridal show, then went hotel-hopping around the anaheim convention center. not our favorites at all. ideally, we both want a location that has unique architectural features, and these cookie cutter, good-for-conventions hotels are not what we had in mind. good thing is the price, of course.

but we finished off the location hunt last night with a lovely place in newport beach. it has this really nice courtyard with a fountain and very spanish-style architecture and design. and the ballroom was ornately decorated with lots of paintings and mirrors. we've already received their wedding packet, so price-wise, it's pretty good, especially because they throw in so much stuff with it. but we really just need to sit with their folks to ask more questions. we'll see them on friday.

ooh oooh, i'm going to start bridal gown shopping on thursday night. i'm excited about it, but also worried. worried that i won't find one i like, worried that i'll find one i like but can't afford it. and to top it off, i have no clue what i'm looking for. they all look lovely to me so far. not sure what would be most flattering. i'm pretty sure i don't want a ball skirt, and i think i want a sweetheart neckline, but who knows. i'm open to anything right now.

the best part: i'm a lot less stressed out about it all. henry has taken the lead in analyzing the numbers and calling the locations and it's totally taken the load off my shoulders. he's even received some compliments from potential vendors who are just surprised and impressed that the groom is the one calling and inquiring about these things. i'm sooo blessed to have him! :)

let's go in on a pool

so i had my first meltdown yesterday. it was only 4 days into the beginning of planning and i already had my first bridezilla moment. i was thinking, i bet my friends can go in on a pool and bet on how many times i'll go off the deep end during this wedding planning. henry said 4 times.. a week! hehe, i said to myself 20 times overall. but i tend to underestimate myself anyway.

but good news!!!! father joe said yes to do our wedding! whoohoo! well, that's one thing that's going our way. yesterday was just such a poopy day. but i know it will all be okay. i just had to give up my stress and worries up to the Lord and i immediately felt better and relieved. He'll take care of everything. i know i just have to not be so set in some of the things that i want for our wedding. keep things in perspective, y'kno? cuz some things are really so small, no one will probably even notice. it's just that i've had my heart set on certain particulars since i started planning my wedding (waaaay back in high school, hehe!) and i just have to learn to let things go. *sigh*

really really? really really.

he wants to marry me, he really wants to marry me!

waay in the beginning, i was so scared about how this relationship would go. i was afraid that it wouldn't work out, just like all of the other ones. and when i found myself so happy being with him, i would ask, "really, really?" as in, "i can't believe we're here and so happy, is it really true?" and he'd just look at me sincerely and say, "really, really." and i'd sink into his arms in complete comfort and joy. (yea, like the christmas carols sing).

so we're settling on a wedding date and are looking at the friday after thanxgiving THIS YEAR!!! it's so overwhelming for me, but most of all, so flattering. i know he loves me, but i still can't believe he wants to marry me! one of the first thoughts after i got a moment to think was of disbelief, like "it happened to me, it actually happened to ME!" and now, not only does he want to marry me, but he doesn't want to wait very long at all. the only thing that seems to be hindering him is the saving up for it part. but he really wants to be with me and as soon as possible too!

there were times in my life when i just wanted the guy i was with to be committed to me and be first in his life, and especially when i put them first in mine. and i never thought i'd have this kind of love, where he doesn't just love me, he really truly wants to spend his life with me... and wants to start that as soon as possible! hehe! i'm absolutely touched and flattered, and really even surprised that he truly loves me that much and wants to start our lives together sooner than i even thought!

all you need is love

The Beatles
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.